Simple Hacks To Fix Your Relationship

When you first met your girlfriend or wife, you probably felt you could fly. You were in seventh heaven. Those first feelings were strong, exciting, and passionate. You wanted to be together all the time; holding hands, kissing, cuddling, making love. But sooner or later, every couple experiences tough times in their relationship. You may have some communication problems or issues in the bedroom; it doesn’t matter. You should always keep in mind that any obstacles can be overcome.

 
Every relationship demands work, hard work, but they should be filled with fun and love as well. If you know how to have fun together and how to love, you’ll get through any tough periods. These simple hacks will help you restore that spark that seems to be lost now.
1. Refocus
You may be focused on your partner’s bugs that irritate and annoy you. Instead of complaining about these defects, focus on the good features of your woman. Don’t try to change her, it never works. Try to figure out what you can do differently to change your relationship for the better. Stay away from criticism, blame, and disagreement. Imagine what kind of relationship you want to have, set future goals, and start gaining them.
2. Talk more and ask questions
You can be 100% sure you know everything about your woman. You’re wrong. All of us change over time. Your half is no exception. Think how much you both have changed since the first time you went on the first date. Pretty much, yeah? The only way to get to know your partner better is to talk more and ask questions. You shouldn’t be afraid of the questions you’ve never asked but wanted to. You can start discussing topics that seem unimportant now; you may find them pretty interesting. You can buy relationship books, read them together and discuss. There are a lot of options. Just start talking more.
3. Have fun
You may have been together forever, but your life shouldn’t be boring. The everyday routine needs to be destroyed. Have more fun together; do something new, something that differs from your common rituals. You can explore new places, attend cooking/dance classes, or even try skydiving.
4. Surprise her
Women love flowers and sweets. Who said you can’t surprise her with a bouquet of flowers with no reason. Even small gifts make girls happy. Buy her different presents from time to time. If you can afford something more expensive like a diamond necklace or a romantic trip to Seychelles, she will be excited and remember your generous gift for a long time.
5. Start sexting again
When you and your half started your relationship, we’re sure, you were sexting all the time. You had passionate sex and wanted to do naughty things to each other every night. So, why don’t you start sexting again? This kind of messages may boost your desire and bring a new zest to your intimate life. You may be surprised to see how horny your woman turns after a couple of sexts.
6. Go “off the grid”
Today you probably can’t even imagine how life without your phone looks like. We spend so much time surfing the web and checking our Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram accounts. We’re touching our phones more often than we’re touching our partners. Go “off the grid” at least for a day. Go away together, or stay at home doing various stuff like cooking, watching movies, or just having sex all day long. You’ll see how fantastic life can be without social media.
7. Express gratitude
Don’t take for granted those small everyday things she does like cooking meals, laundering, or cleaning the apartment. You may not even pay attention to this “unimportant” stuff. Start expressing gratitude. The two words “Thank You” influence your relationship as much as those three strong words “I Love You.” In a while, you’ll see how this simple and common phrase can take your life together to the next level.

 

Relationship Compromises You Should Never Make

 When you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s inevitable that you’re going to have to make some compromises to make the relationship work. There are the little things like which peanut butter to buy or where to go on your vacation. And then there are the bigger compromises which shouldn’t be taken lightly. In fact, there are certain compromises you may face that’ll have you questioning the relationship and whether it’s really worth it.

Besides your health and safety, which should never be compromised, here are eight other subtle yet significant compromises you should never make in a relationship.
1. Your dreams and goals for theirs.
While dating, especially when you’re young, you need to go after your goals with vigor and fire. “If your goal is to become an engineer and you got a great job opportunity in a city away from your partner, you should absolutely take it. If that partner is mature and respectful, he/she will honor your goals and support you in pursuing them,” explains Alli Owen, a life coach specializing in relationships.  If you give up your dreams for someone else, you may come to resent them later on.
2. Your values.
Your values are part of who you are at your very soul. If you’re not a big drinker but your partner is a destructive drinker and it’s affecting your relationship in negative ways, it’s okay to give them an ultimatum. Owen says your partner should respect your desires and want to be a better person not only for you but with you. “If you always envisioned marrying a person of a particular faith or religion, wait to settle down until you find that person.”
3. Your vision for your life.
You’ve always wanted at least two kids and a life in the suburbs, but your partner doesn’t want kids and prefers to live in the city… And the more you talk about it, the more it seems like the life you want is suffocating to your partner. You can’t compromise things like this without someone being miserable in the end. The best thing to do is stop prolonging the inevitable and end the relationship. There is no use wasting anyone’s time if your life vision doesn’t align with theirs.
4. Your family and friends.
Be wary of any partner who tries to keep you from seeing your family and friends. It’s normal to see less of them because now you’re spending more time with your partner, and while some possessiveness may make you feel wanted and special in the beginning, it can also be a red flag of things to come later in the relationship. As Kristen Fuller, M.D. writes, healthy friendships can help you cultivate healthier relationships and be healthier overall. “Studies have shown that older people with friends are more likely to live a healthier happier life than those who do not have many close friends.”
5. Your self-worth.
We should all expect to be treated with love and respect by our significant others. Our partners should stand by our side through good times and bad and shouldn’t make us feel bad about ourselves. It’s natural to have disagreements and to challenge one another, but don’t allow verbally abusive communication into your relationship. Non-healthy communication can be damaging to your self-esteem.
6. Your principles when it comes to flirting.
You may not even realize you’re doing this but, quite often, men and women concede to their partners’ desire about texting or flirting with others. If your partner’s flirting makes you uncomfortable, it’s worth wondering why it’s so important to them. The conversation is generally followed by thoughts like, They’re still coming home to me or He/she is just being friendly. Flirting is a sign your partner needs someone else to fulfill part their needs, which could even just be their ego. If it’s not something you’re comfortable with, then don’t put up with it.
7. The type of relationship you want.
It should never be okay for your partner to pressure you into doing things you don’t want to do, says Rori Sassoon, a professional matchmaker and CEO of Platinum Poire. “For example: Having an open relationship, a threesome, or anything else that makes you uncomfortable in your relationship. Or inviting another person into your relationship is a big decision that can create jealousy when you want to be strengthening your intimate bond.”
8. Your finances.
These days, having your finances in check is important if you plan on buying a house, taking out loans, or dream of retiring early. Your partner’s bad credit or spending habits can eventually impact you. “If they are taking from you financially and not contributing to expenses, there is nothing to compromise here. They must stop,” says Sassoon. If it feels like you’re constantly footing the bill and they’re mooching off of you, it’s best to keep your accounts and finances separate and plan very inexpensive dates until they get their finances together.
When you care deeply about someone or when you’ve invested a lot of time and effort into a relationship, it can feel natural to compromise on even these big things. But if you find that all your compromises are creating a life and a relationship that doesn’t make you happy or move your life in the direction you want, it’s time to consider whether the relationship is really what you want.

What Women Want in a Man

According to a study by Stanford University School of Medicine, a sense of humor is what women want in a man. During the study, researchers found that the reward-related areas of women’s brains showed greater activity than men’s in response to humor. So what does this mean? That women understand and appreciate humor. A lot.

So what does this mean for you?  Well, if you’re looking to attract woman, you might want to start by making them laugh.
First, let’s take a look at your profile. Are you smiling in your profile pic, or are you sporting your serious, “Blue Steel” look? If it’s the latter, then you might want to switch it for a more light-hearted shot of you. Don’t force the smile; instead, show off the fun side that your family and friends usually see. You’ll look better showing off an authentic expression than striking a pose from your best side.
Now, let’s consider your content. Sure, adding that you’re addicted to watching “Game of Thrones,” could be an acceptable conversation-starter, but almost everyone watches “Game of Thrones.” Have fun with your profile. Don’t be afraid to make fun of yourself or add some sarcasm. If your profile makes her laugh, she’ll be more likely to meet you.
On the date, don’t assume you have to be a constant comedian, but doing your best to keep the mood light will help you both relax. If the waitress got your order wrong, make light of it. Share a funny story from your childhood. Don’t be afraid to tease your date. Having fun will make the date more memorable, and will place you in the “suitable partner” category faster than you think.

 

Dating tips for single parents

From being open about your situation to freeing yourself of any guilt you’ve attached to dating, Amy Nickell shares some tips for dating as a single parent.

Dating is a minefield whatever your situation. When you’re a parent, things can feel even tougher. When I first started dating again after my son (who is now three) was born, my confidence and self-belief couldn’t have been lower. It took me a long time to get over the stigma of being a single parent – especially when it came to dating. I now realise that my family is something to celebrate, rather than hide, and that the right person will recognise this also. But it’s taken me a while and a lot of bad dates to get here. These are some tips I picked up along the way.
Be open about the fact you are a parent
When I first returned to dating, I didn’t  mention my son on my online dating profiles, or when I met men in real life. Because of the stigma surrounding single parents and myths I was believing at the time, my subconscious told me I would have more luck keeping my profile baby-free. I soon realised what a mistake that was. On my first date after being pregnant, dumped and giving birth – when my self-esteem had hit rock bottom  – I sat opposite a man who visibly quivered when I revealed I was a mum and compared my child to his ongoing battle with Crohn’s disease.
Just like anything on your profile – whether it be recent pictures, your height or your profession – honesty cuts out the potential for misunderstandings or, well, meeting narrow-minded fools. Remember, anyone with a problem isn’t worth your time; being a parent is actually a very effective asshole filter. The problem is theirs, don’t waste time feeling like it’s yours. Which leads on to…
Never excuse, apologise or defend yourself
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of believing you have to explain how you came to be a single parent. In the early stages of dating, that’s really none of anyone’s business. Be proud of your family and proud of your life. Know anyone you meet will be lucky to get such a fabulous two, three or however-many-it-might-be-for-one deal.  You know your child is the best person ever so why assume another person will feel any different? I was brought up to believe people, particularly men, are terrified of having children on their hands. Maybe some are, but those people aren’t worth your time when you’re a parent.
Replace the word ‘baggage’ with ‘bonus’
In our household ‘baggage’ is considered a swear word. ‘Baggage’ implies a disadvantage; something bulky and extra, weighing you down. Your offspring is anything but baggage. However, growing up in a society that sees single motherhood as a one way ticket to loneliness, poverty and the benefits system, I see where the ‘b’ word has come from.
I’m happy to confirm that my son has positively transformed my life in so many ways, he’s the most wonderful and perfectly-timed gift I could have wished for. Plus, having a child helps you put things in perspective;  I’m ten times more confident and capable now. So the word ‘baggage’ needs to be replaced with ‘bonus’, because that’s a more accurate description.
Feel positive about wanting to date
Never think that you are doing anything wrong by wanting some time for yourself. I’ll never forget the first time I came down the stairs all dressed up to see my baby with his bottle, ready to be put to bed by someone else. I did feel a pang of guilt. But now I know how important my personal time is to keep me sane. A good mum is a happy mum – never feel guilty about wanting time to be you. You’re a mum, yes, but you’re also a woman who wants to flirt and enjoy a nice glass of wine in some adult company.
Don’t rush introducing your new partner to your child
I think it’s important to make clear to the person you are dating that you aren’t looking for any help with parenting. That’s your territory, especially in the early days. I had a boyfriend once who wanted to get way too involved too quickly, and my child just doesn’t need the potential disruption that would cause.
For this reason, I wouldn’t introduce the person I am dating to my son as my ‘boyfriend’. That said, it’s easier said than done to keep them totally apart, and often just not practical. My personal solution here is to ask my boyfriends to work by the rules of a public swimming pool: if you wouldn’t get away with it there, don’t do it in front of my son. For me, this means no sleepovers. But it also means more special time as a couple when you do manage to escape for those precious nights away (once you’ve found a very trusted babysitter, of course).
Focus on the present
Perhaps it’s only natural for the person you are dating to think about the future with you, given your life situation as a parent. But regular singletons don’t instantly picture a future where they’ve settled down and had four kids, so neither should your date. Someone recently broke up with me because they just “couldn’t get their head around being a dad”. Er, no one asked him too. He just went all Mystic Meg and couldn’t handle it. If you find yourself in a similar situation, use it to your advantage, and remember: having a child helps you sort people into a ‘worth it’ and ‘not worth it’ pile early on.
Finally, a family isn’t incomplete just because it doesn’t fit in with traditional roles. Just because you fancy a date doesn’t mean you are looking for someone to fill a void. Also, for anyone dating a single parent, we aren’t necessarily looking for an immediate co-parent, we are looking for a date – those are two very different things. Believe it or not, it is possible to be content in a family of two. When it comes to family, it’s quality over quantity.
Happy dating!

 

Your Cell Phone Addiction Could Be Killing Your Relationship

New research confirms that your partner hates it when you can’t put your damn phone away. Here’s how to break the habit

Your relationship with your phone could have serious consequences for your actual relationship, a new University of Arizona study suggests.
The researchers surveyed people about their significant others’ smartphone habits. No surprise here: People whose partners were habitually glued to their iPhones were less happy with their relationships, the researchers found.
It’s easy to get hooked on your smartphone. Checking your notifications eases loneliness, boredom, and fear of missing out, says study author Matthew Lapierre, Ph.D.
But using your smartphone all the time may isolate you from your partner and make her feel like she has to compete for your attention, the researchers say.
How do you know if your iPhone habit is actually an addiction?
A telltale sign, Lapierre says, is that you keep scrolling even when you know you should put your phone down. Like when you’re driving, having dinner with your family, or having sex—a recent Harris Interactive survey finds that one in 10 people are guilty of that last one.
Another bad omen: You feel irritable or panicky when your phone dies or isn’t with you, says Edward Hallowell, M.D., a Boston-based psychiatrist and author of Delivered From Distraction.
If that sounds familiar, wean yourself off your phone by designating some data-free time each day, says Dr. Hallowell.
That could mean you turn it off between 9 a.m. and noon at work or during a given activity, like a date or a workout. And of course, every time you get behind the wheel.
Leave it out of sight—in your gym bag, your desk drawer, or your glove box—during these periods. The extra step of getting your phone out and turning it on can help you stop and reconsider whether you really need to use it, he says.
If you can get used to spending an hour at the gym without checking your notifications, you may be able to get through dinner or sex without reaching for your phone. And your partner will definitely appreciate that.

 

Four Rules for Riding the Romance Roller Coaster

Let’s be honest: For many people, the idea of dating produces an inability to breathe, sweaty palms, and a stomach full of butterflies. Not the pleasant kind you experienced with your first kiss; this is more like when you were a kid and you rode that towering, terrifying roller-coaster for the first time.

That’s an appropriate metaphor, since many singles describe the ups and downs, twists and turns of new romance. “Dating is an emotional roller-coaster,” you might hear someone say. “One second it’s thrilling and exhilarating; the next second your stomach is turning and panic sets in. One second you want to scream for the ride to stop; the next second you hope it’ll go on forever.”
Sound familiar? Dating, like thrill rides, requires you to hold on tight, pray hard, and hope for the best. Add in the common fear of romantic intimacy, and of dealing with past relationship “issues”—yours and your date’s—and it’s easy to conclude you’re better off skipping the ride altogether. Playing it safe has this much going for it: you’ll avoid danger and reduce risks. You’ll also be bored, second-guess your decision, and kick yourself for chickening out–which may be why you are reading this now.
But if you hoped this column would contain a magic formula for making your fears disappear—sorry. The truth is, you will probably always get the dating jitters. Why? Because it is indeed nerve-wracking. Unless you are a gifted extrovert or a charismatic charmer, putting yourself on the romantic market is always going to be outside your comfort zone. What you need is a way to avoid letting your fear stand between you and lasting love when it comes around. You need a few “Rules for Riding the Romance Roller Coaster” to help conquer your fears:
1. Get in line. You want the thrill of finding someone new, but you’ve scared yourself silly remembering past experiences, or watching others ride (and scream) from a distance. So you’re still outside the fence looking in. Put one foot in front of the other and take a step toward your goal. Sign up for dance lessons, join the singles group at church, or throw a dinner party and invite some new faces. You’re not riding/dating yet—just positioning yourself to do so.
2. Wait your turn. The dictionary defines fear as “an unpleasant feeling of anxiety or apprehension caused by the presence or anticipation of danger.” The fact is, danger is rarely actually “present.” And fear is often at its worst when nothing much is happening—because you have a lot of time to anticipate all the hypothetically dangerous “what ifs.” Now that you’re in line, be patient—be brave.
3. Fasten your seat belt. Courage is not the same thing as recklessness. When your turn to ride arrives, hold nothing back—but protect yourself with common-sense measures to keep your worst fears from materializing. Being “up for an adventure” doesn’t mean throwing caution to the wind. You’ll enjoy the ride more knowing that, despite the risks, there are safety protocols in place.
4. Do it! Keep your eyes open. Throw up your hands—and ride for all you’re worth. Riding a roller coaster is a hog-wild, topsy-turvy, gravity-defying, spine-tingling thing to do. If it didn’t make your adrenaline soar and your stomach do cartwheels, it wouldn’t be any fun.

 

5 Surprising Ways Dating Makes You Better at Life

Whether you like dating or not, it’s unavoidable if you want to find someone to be with. But, what if you didn’t look at dating as simply a way to find someone else? What if dating was also a way to find yourself? Let’s take a closer look at dating’s personal side—the side with important life lessons, and moments of self-discovery and personal growth.

Here are five personal benefits of dating, and how dating can help you grow in other areas of your life:
1. Dating Makes You a Better Conversationalist
Like interviewing, dating requires the ability to talk about yourself, ask and answer questions, listen intently, and hold a meaningful conversation with another person. The more you date or the longer you date one person, the better you’ll get at talking about yourself, and sharing your feelings, expectations, hopes for the future, opinions, and beliefs—and all while becoming a better and more thoughtful listener.
2. Dating Teaches You How to Get What You Want
Whether you go on a date with an attractive history buff or an arrogant techie, every date gives you insight into what you like and don’t like in another person. And often, you only come to learn what you want by figuring out what you don’t want. The more you date, the easier and clearer this becomes. This greater level of self-awareness also leads to greater self-confidence. Knowing what you want and being confident in who you are will not only help you with your dating life, but will help you in all areas of your life.
3. Dating Allows You to Experience New Things
Your dates will almost certainly have different interests and hobbies than you do—and that’s a good thing! This allows you to expand your horizons and be more adventurous. Take a salsa class with her; go on a ropes course with him—there’s always something new and fun to do when you’re dating. It’s also easier to try new things when you have someone by your side because you’re more likely to take chances when you’re with someone you like and trust.
4. Dating Teaches You How to Let Go
Letting go is a hard thing to do. If you learn to master it, it’s a powerful skill that will come in handy in all aspects of your life. You can’t attract something new when your energy is spent thinking about that past. All that “stuff” you’re holding on to can pull you down. Letting go of the past not only helps you live your best life now, but also paves the way for future success.
5. Dating Makes You Stronger and More Resilient
Besides heartbreak, rejection is probably the toughest part about dating. But, the more rejection you face, the more you’ll come to understand that it’s a natural part of life and dating. And, the more you grow to accept rejection, the easier it’ll be to face failure in all other parts of your life. It will make you stronger and better prepared for what life will throw at you in the future.
At the end of the day, your past relationships make you a better version of yourself. The next relationship will do the same. So, don’t be afraid of dating; embrace it.
There is no better time to embrace dating than right now—the weather is warm, there is an abundance of activities to participate in, and people are generally in a good mood. It’s the perfect time to put yourself out there and meet new people.