What Women Really Think About Threesomes, Dirty Talk, and Anal

Plus: How to make some of your fantasies come true!

We all have personal preferences in the bedroom, some very common and others illegal in Texas. Still, we all deserve for some of our desires to become reality.
How do you make it happen?
The best way: Talk to your girlfriend or wife well before you attempt the act.
Here’s what most women think about 10 of your top sexual fantasies.
1. YOU WANT A THREESOME
She thinks: “Of course you do. Keep dreaming.”
Despite what you saw in Saturday Night Beaver, most girls don’t want to enter this territory. Granted, we can appreciate the female form.
And we’re not horrified at the thought of being in the same room with another naked woman. But what if we asked you to be with another guy? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
The thing is, we’d always wonder whose company you were enjoying more. We might not admit it, but it’d cause some insecurity on our part. Get this out of your system before you enter a committed relationship, okay?
2. YOU WANT HER TO DRESS UP
She thinks: “Ooo, in what?”
Ask me to put on a squirrel costume and I might crush your nuts. Hey, some people are into that stuff!
If the costume has to be rented from hotmascots.com, it’s probably a no-go. It takes courage to dress up (some of us are not thrilled with our bodies) but we want to feel sexy for you.
As long as we feel good in it, or you make us feel good in it, there won’t be a problem here.
3. YOU WANT HER TO GO DOWN ON YOU
She thinks: “What else is new?”
Some girls really enjoy giving oral. If your girlfriend doesn’t, it may be that she’s not comfortable or confident with her technique.
Make her comfortable—and not by grabbing her head. Reassure her, tell her she does it the best, and guide her if you want something different.
Also, I believe it was Jesus who said give and ye shall receive. So give, often and well. Ye shall receive.
4. YOU WANT ANAL SEX
She thinks: “Ouch!” (and clenches her butt cheeks)
Listen fellahs, this is a gift. If you want it, you have to earn it. This will likely be more “thrilling” for you than her.
Hey, some girls are good to go, and enjoy it. Others, well, want some time to ease into that stage of a relationship. You know, the stage when she may drop a turd on your bed and you’ll love her anyway. Yeah, that stage.
Anal isn’t for the feint of heart, especially if you've had Mexican for dinner. Before you go there, watch The Truth about Anal Sex.
5. YOU WANT TO FINISH IN A STRANGE PLACE
She thinks: “Um, what? Why?”
Hey, it’s cool if you’re into that sort of thing.
The rule here is simple: Ask permission before you do it.
6. YOU WANT TO WATCH HER MASTURBATE
She thinks: “Awkward!”
Sorry, guys, but this is something we’re used to doing on our own, and in our own way. Though we understand why you’d enjoy watching, it can be super-awkward for us.
Your best bet: While you’re pleasing her, grab her hand and encourage her to show you what she likes. And definitely tell her how amazing she looks doing it.
7. YOU WANT TO TALK DIRTY
She thinks: “You go first.”
Use common sense here, guys. Ease in, and take it from there. Tell her how gorgeous and sexy she is. She’ll follow your lead and probably get into it.
8. YOU WANT TO DO IT IN A NEW, POSSIBLY DANGEROUS SPOT
She thinks: “Adventurous!”
But let it happen spontaneously. That is the fun of it. If you plan for it, the thrill is gone. In fact, she may get cold feet if she has too long to think about it. Keep her on her toes!
And try not to get arrested. Jail-cell sex isn’t nearly as hot.
9. YOU WANT TO WATCH PORN TOGETHER
She thinks: “Sure!”
She may not want to admit it, but some girls are just as turned on by porn as you are. Not the college-girl show-me-your-titties kind, but the grownup kind.
We understand that you’re going to watch it anyway, and it’d be more fun to watch with you and reap the benefits!
10. YOU WANT TO MAKE PORN TOGETHER
She thinks: “Can I trust you?”
It’s not posing that puts us off. It’s the prospect of showing up on YouPorn—or, frankly, your buddy’s iPhone.
Bottom line: This takes loads of trust. No matter how in love we are at the time, we know that not all love lasts forever. But pictures and videos sure do!

Put These 5 Words In Your Profile If You Want to Get a Date

The bio on your dating profile is more important than you think

Wondering why you haven’t been getting any action on your dating profile lately? It might not be your photo that’s turning women off — it's your bio.
Originally reported by the New York Post, data from eHarmony found the five most popular descriptors that are almost guaranteed to land you a date:
    1.Physically fit
    2.Perceptive
    3.Spontaneous
    4.Outgoing
    5.Optimistic
If you describe yourself as physically fit, you're 96 percent more likely to get interaction than users who don't. Women also love guys who pick up on things easily, so if you mention that you're perceptive in your profile, you're 51 percent more likely to see the amount of messages you receive increase.
Being spontaneous and outgoing are surefire ways to impress her, and she'll know her first date with you will be fun and memorable. Women are 45 percent and 44 percent, respectively, more likely to want to get to know you.
And if you've got a positive, optimistic outlook on things, 39 percent of women will swipe right.
Plenty of Fish, The NY Post reports, also surveyed users on what they're most likely to respond to when it comes to dating profiles. As it turns out, guys are more attracted to girls who love a good pumpkin spice latte, and are 8 percent more likely to reach out to a woman who has the popular fall drink mentioned in her dating profile. (But guys, we wouldn't recommend adding this to your profile since the same does not hold true for you.)
If and when you do get that first date, there are a few things you should keep in mind, and making her laugh is number one. Earlier this year, a DrEd.com survey found that 83 percent of women are attracted to a good sense of humor. (And here are some tips on what not to do the first time you go out.)
Coming up with ideas other than your typical dinner and drinks can't hurt, either. Try something like the skating rink or a baseball game.

7 Online Dating Tips to Help You Attract Interesting People

Attracting people while dating online isn’t that hard, but attracting the people you’re really interested in… Well, that requires a bit of work. The good news is, it’s a whole lot easier than you think once you know what to do.

Here are 7 online dating tips to help you attract interesting people:
1. Your main profile picture should be you at your best.
Your main picture is your first impression so it needs to show you at your absolute best. People are visual creatures so this is important. This may take a bit of work if you don’t already have that perfect picture, but always remember, even if it takes a hundred tries to get that perfect photo, that one photo could attract the person who becomes the person you share the rest of your life with. Not too bad a deal for a few hours work is it?
2. The more pictures, the better.
Some online dating experts advise their clients to use no more than four pictures. I say nonsense. Data has shown that adding more pictures to your dating profile results in more inbound messages. We already know people are extremely visual. Keeping that in mind, each picture is a unique opportunity to draw someone’s attention and tell a different story about yourself.
The key is diversity. Eight photos of you standing alone is off-putting, boring, and doesn’t reveal anything unique about you from picture to picture. Eight or more pictures capturing you in different positive aspects of your life, (like a travel picture, a photo with your family, you finishing the last 10k you ran, or your Halloween costume), will tell a story that people get interested in, and ultimately, will want to be a part of.
3. Be playful and flirtatious.
If you were to meet someone you liked at a bar, how would you let them know? You’d probably smile a lot, touch their arm, lean in when you talk, or give any number of visual and verbal cues that communicate interest.
Well in the online world all you have is your words and the characters on a keyboard to let the person know you’re interested and attracted. Use them to your advantage. Exclamation points, emoticons, emojis, and innocent G-rated flirting are all great ways to let someone know you’re into them. Just use all of these things in moderation or it will backfire—you don’t want to look like teenager!
A lot of online dating is filled with boring small talk, so don’t be afraid to be the exception.
4. Never make a list of deal-breakers.
This may seem obvious, but a lot of people still do it. Making a list of deal breakers in your profile is one of the worst mistakes you can make.
You will never scare off the people you’re not interested in by listing all the qualities that you don’t want in a partner. But you may convince the good people out there that you’re overly picky, judgmental, or negative. This probably isn’t true, but it’s how it comes across. So stay positive and focus on the things you’re looking for instead of the things you’re not looking for.
5. Understand that people have short attention spans.
People are insanely busy these days. In fact, you’re probably so busy right now that you’re simply skimming this article. Did I catch you? It’s okay, I forgive you.
When it comes to online dating, you have to overcome all the noise and distractions life brings by being economical with your words, structuring your profile properly, and packing the most punch into every word you write.
The ideal structure for a profile is 5-6 mini paragraphs of 2-3 sentences each with each section focusing on a different aspect of your life. This allows someone to both skim for information, or read your profile like a well-crafted story if they choose to.
If you’re on a site that uses email, as a rule they should take no more than 60 seconds to read and 2-3 minutes to respond to. This can increase slightly as the responses begin to snowball, but it’s a good rule of thumb in the beginning.
6. Size up the competition.
Ok, so it’s not really a competition but there are a lot of people on online dating sites that you can learn from. Researching your competition can be extremely helpful if you’re not sure what to say in your profile. Take a look at a lot of profiles and see how you compare. What do some profiles do better or more effectively than you do? Which profiles would you be most attracted to? After you have your answers, use this knowledge to your advantage and adjust your own profile.
7. Stand out from the competition
What qualities do you have that shine the most? Is it your humor? Is it your sense of adventure? Is it your passion for volunteering? Maybe it’s all of the above. Figure out what it is about you that’s worth highlighting and then make sure these qualities are showcased in your photo and your profile.
If you’re new to online dating, it can seem confusing at first but at the end of the day it’s about putting your best self out there and connecting with people and getting to know them. Don’t forget to have fun with it!

How to Be Better at Online Flirting

Being a flirt, online or in real life takes a certain level of finesse. Some people are naturally charismatic, effortless flirts. Other people become successful flirts by learning the tricks of the trade through trial and error. Others flirt minimally or not at all. Online flirting is an art form.

I use the term “flirt” very loosely. When I say flirt, I don’t mean cheesy compliments and canned pick-up lines. Saying something like, “There must be a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them,” is not flirting with another person. That’s just flirting with disaster.
By flirting, I mean the art of witty and spontaneous banter. By flirting, I mean using dialogue and conversation to attract people to you, engaging with people in a light-hearted, fun, easy, and graceful way to bond with them romantically. With the medium of online dating, success necessarily involves utilizing the written word (i.e. your online flirting ability) as a social skill.
Composing a dashing and coquettish message is not as difficult as it seems. Just as there are tips and tricks with flirting in real life, there are rules (and shortcuts) with flirting online. So how do you turn your drab little “Hi, my name is…” message into a sparkling, enchanting, tantalizing series of bon mots sure to send any reader into throes of ecstatic bliss? Harness all your writing ability, and get ready to become a veritable Lord Byron, because it’s not as hard as it seems! 
That’s right. I’m going to tell you how to be betting at online flirting.
Do not be tempted by the easy compliment or a cliché
It’s too easy, too cheap, to fall prey to the easy compliment and the ready cliché. It’s like giving someone a ready-to-wear message when you can easily whip up some homemade haute couture. Think about it. For this awesome individual whom you’ve set your eye on, getting another message that simply says You’re a hottie or hey what’s up is probably about as exciting as breathing. Online daters are so used to it, they barely notice it anymore. If you choose to compliment, dole out a real beauty, something you’ve thought of and created just for that person. It doesn’t have to be beautiful poetry. All it has to do is not be the same old boring crap this person hears day in and day out.
Metaphors and similes, when used in moderation, are your friends
We are given this thing called language. We should have fun with it! Language serves the purpose of communication, though in the process, we can take all sorts of liberties with it to save it from the abuses of everyday speech. For instance, we can use metaphors and similes. Though it might not be readily apparent at first, the use of metaphor is rife in the arena of the flirted word.
Here’s an example: Guess what my shirt’s made of? Boyfriend material.
Another great prompt for a possible metaphor or simile is You make me feel like… or Around you, I become.
Try it out for yourself. You make me feel like I’m finally home. Around you, I become aware the depths of my own heart. Hey, it’s not so hard!
It’s not the size that matters, but how you use it
Write a sonnet, not a novel. Keep your responses short and sweet—at first. Later on, beautifully articulated, 17-page epics are encouraged. At first, however, you always want to make the person you’re trying to attract lust for more. Give an inch (of prose), and they’ll demand a mile. I’m not a proponent of two-word responses, but a short, two-paragraph message where each word is measured (and no words are wasted) is the online equivalent of a brief conversation that ends too soon and leaves you starving for more. There’s no shame in being coy. After all, isn’t that what flirting is all about?
Don’t reveal too much too soon — mystery is fuel to the fire
In due course, everything will be revealed. If you date someone, they will eventually find out everything about you (the good, the bad, the ugly, and the sublime). Skeletons will eventually tumble from your closets, so there’s no point in disclosing your whole life story too soon. In the art of flirtation, evocative and mysterious statements are the word of law. Your desirability quotient is (at first) at least partly contingent on your ability to evoke a sense of enigma about your persona, to not talk too much or spill too much about yourself in the beginning in order to sustain your date’s sense of interest in you over time. In no sense am I advocating secrecy or lies—it’s important to be honest all the time, less important to disclose information about yourself unprompted and unprovoked. Wait until you are asked, before you spill the beans.
Everyone loves a funny person
You don’t have to be the class clown of online dating, but a little humor never hurt anyone, particularly when used pointedly to attract a mate. Even if it goes against everything you believe, at least try to lighten up and make a joke (think of it as a thought experiment). Humor is like a jolt of charm. Who doesn’t love to laugh? While there is no easy lesson on how to be funny, the best rule of thumb is to try to make it sound natural and situational. Make jokes if it’s relevant and applies, but don’t make stupid jokes for no reason (you’ll come off as a ‘try hard’). This is not to say that you need to take lessons on stand-up comedy in order to date someone. Rather, I’m suggesting that you attempt to see the humor in situations and let your natural humor shine. Everyone out there has a sense of humor. We just have varying degrees of comfort in showing it.
So are you ready to start online flirting? I certainly think so.  Have at it!

How to Attract Someone: Five Scientifically Proven Ways

As it turns out, seduction may be more of a science than an art. Wondering how to attract someone special? Here are five scientifically proven ways.

Humor
Humor is an attractive quality for both men and women, though for different reasons. Recent research shows that women appreciate men who can make jokes, and men prefer women who laugh at their jokes. Why is humor so sexy? A study published in Evolutionary Psychology suggests that a sense of humor is a signal for higher intelligence, which, in a strictly biological sense, is a favorable trait for a partner.
Being Liked
Have you ever had a relationship that you thought was completely platonic, only to discover the other person liked you? How did it make you feel? Science says you probably found the other person more attractive if you learned he or she liked you, even if you even if you ultimately decided against a romance. Psychologist Richard Wiseman discovered that one of the best ways to impress a date was to give the impression that “you were hard to get–and therefore a scarce resource worth having–but really enthusiastic about him or her specifically.”
Sharing Personal Info
What you talk about has a huge impact on potential partners. For example, in one study, 18 percent of people who talked about travel wanted to meet up again, compared with only 9 percent of those who discussed movies. This is because men and women tend to have different tastes in movies, which often leads to arguments. In comparison, a family vacation or friend’s destination wedding elicits happy memories (or at least funny stories) that have a better chance of leading to a bonding moment.
In fact, sharing personal, emotional information can create a deep connection on the very first date. In a one study, people who shared intimate details created a stronger bond within the first 45 minutes of meeting than some people experience with their closest, life-long friends.
Doing Fun Stuff
Nix dinner and a movie and shoot for an activity that gets your blood pumping. Research shows that people associate the adrenaline rush and exciting feelings with the person they’re with, so if you bring your partner on an exhilarating hike or a rock concert, he or she is more likely to experience feelings of romantic attachment.
Love at First Sight
According to Dr. Earl Naumann, if you believe in love at first sight, you have about a 60 percent chance of experiencing it. And of those who do experience it, 55 percent marry that partner, and three-quarters of them stay together. So open up your mind to the possibility of love at first sight.