The 14 Dating Statistics All Singles Need to Know

When it comes to dating and relationships there are a lot of grey areas—as there should be. Maybe that’s why it’s so fun to look at dating statistics and data to see the black and white facts presented by the numbers. Whether you’re curious about the best city  to start a relationship in or want to know what men really think about paying for the first date, check out these 14 important dating statistics for some much-needed insight.

1. Shared interests and sex are important to a successful marriage.
According to a 2017 study on marriage by the PEW Research Center, 64% of married couples say having shared interests is important to a successful relationship and 61% said satisfying sexual relationship is. It makes sense then, that in a survey of over 6,000 online daters on the dating site Zoosk, the majority of them said the thing they like to talk about in their first conversation with someone is their hobbies and interests. Another fun find—56% of married adults say sharing household chores is very important to a successful marriage.
2. Guys care more about who pays the bill than women.
In a recent survey of over 6,000 heterosexual singles on the dating site and app Zoosk, 86% of men said they preferred to pay the bill, while only 56% of women said they prefered the man to pay. On top of that, only 25% of men said they like it when a woman offers to pay. 
3. It’s actually harder start a relationship in a big city.
According to 2014 Facebook data gathered from relationship-related posts and status changes, big cities like New York, LA, and Miami aren’t the best place to meet people. The cities that you’re most likely to start a relationship in? Colorado Springs, El Paso, Louisville, and Fort Worth.
4. Love goes beyond politics.
Though current times may suggest otherwise, the same PEW study on marriage also showed that only 16% of married people said they thought shared political views were important to their marriage. So even if you and your significant other don’t see eye to eye on economic reform or foreign policy, you can still be a good pair for each other in a relationship.
5. More people are choosing to stay single longer, or indefinitely.
And as a result the gap between married and single people has narrowed. Back in the 1950s married couples outnumbered singles by 37.1 million, but after the last census in 2015 that number shrunk to 12.1 million.
6. The best time to get married is between the ages of 28 and 32.
According to a study by Nick Wolfinger, a sociologist at the University of Utah people who get married between 28 and 32 split up the least. As the study put it, this “Goldilocks Theory of Marriage” shows that getting married too early or too late can be risky.
7. Most people think online dating is a good way to meet people.
In a 2015 study by PEW, 59% of people in the U.S. agreed that online dating was a good way to meet people. And that number was on the rise, since in 2005 only 44% of people surveyed said they thought online dating was a good way to meet.
8. If you date someone for 3 months, it’s likely you’ll start a serious relationship.
Another fun find from Facebook—couples who make it to 3 months usually end up together for at least 4 years. So the three month mark is an important milestone.
9. If you’ve been dating for over 6 months, it might be time to discuss marriage.
A survey from the dating app Zoosk showed that 56% of men and 54% of women want to discuss marriage after they’ve been dating for 6 months.
10. Technology can bring couples closer.
According to a 2014 PEW research study, 21% of mobile phone owners, said they feel closer to their spouse or partner because of conversations they had via text. 9% admitted that they had resolved an argument over text message that they couldn’t resolve in person. In addition to that 27% of internet users say their internet usage has had an impact on their relationship and 74% said it was a positive one.
11. More people are getting remarried.
According to the U.S. census 40% of new marriages involve remarriage, where one or both of the spouses have been married before. In addition, in 2013 42 million adults in the U.S. had been married more than once which was up from 22 million in 1980. 
12. Men and women both want someone who’s honest.
After data mining over 3,000,000 profiles, the dating app Zoosk found that both men and women use the word honest the most while describing what they’re looking for in another person. Other popular traits varied by age and included things like fun, sense of humor, family, or easy going.
13. Same sex couples don’t care about age as much.
According to Facebook data, in heterosexual couples, males are consistently 2–5 years older than females, while same-sex couples generally have larger gaps within the spouses ages.
14. Coffee or dinner dates are the best way to go.
According to messaging data from the online dating site Zoosk, women in their 20s and 30s use the word dinner most often when describing their ideal date. Womens in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and older list coffee most often.

4 Surprising Ways to Break the Ice

During those first few dates, you’re likely to find yourself with a man who is more nervous – and tongue tied – than you are.  Here are five different ways to break the ice, open his heart, and start the spark of romance.

First dates are our chance to create an initial connection with a man, and see if we are a good fit. We trot out our best stories and questions to make a great first impression, and we avoid uncomfortable silence at all costs.
But these strategies aren’t real ways to start a connection with a man. In fact, they feel more like an interview than a romantic experience.  If you really want to get the conversation flowing, focus instead on connecting to his heart by being vulnerable and authentic.  Here’s how.
TIP  #1: ASK HIM ABOUT A PERSONAL DETAIL
Rather than asking him about his job or where he lives, ask him about a personal detail that opens the door to unusual conversation. It’s a great way to find out more about him and let him know you’re interested.
So say something about his class ring or the shoes he’s wearing.  Chances are, there’s a story there; and he’ll welcome the opportunity to share it. It will feel more spontaneous and refreshing, because it isn’t the same old conversation starter.
TIP #2: ASK HIM TO ASK YOU
A good way to communicate your openness and find out what’s on his mind is to ask him: “Is there anything you’d like to know about me?”
Doing this gives you great insight into his personality.  You’re letting him lead the conversation so he feels you’re open to him, and you’re also learning about what matters to him.  He’ll probably turn it around and ask you to do the same, and this will keep you chatting away. The fact that you’re open to revealing stuff about yourself will also give him the impression that you’re spontaneous and comfortable in your own skin, and this is very attractive.
TIP  #3: ADMIT YOU’RE NERVOUS
It’s normal to think that we have to seem upbeat and at ease on a first date, so we try to cover up our nerves and discomfort. But this just creates an artificial experience between the two of you, and causes you to miss a real opportunity for connection.
One of the quickest ways to put him at ease – and instantly connect with his heart – is to confess what you’re really feeling.  So if you feel nervous, tell him! You can say something like: “You know, I’m feeling really nervous here.  I felt we had a great connection online, and now I’m not sure what to say,”
There’s a good chance he’ll venture that he’s having the same problem, and then you’ll have something in common!  What’s more, the fact that you expressed your true feelings will let him see that he doesn’t have to be a mind reader with you…and it will touch his heart.
TIP  #4: GET COMFORTABLE WITH SILENCE
This tip is the hardest to get used to, but the most powerful.
When people are nervous, they tend to create small talk.  Small talk will help pass the time, but it won’t help you make a heart connection with him, because you’re just sharing facts rather than engaging with him on a more personal level.  So let go of the need to carry the conversation, and challenge yourself to sit with the silence.   Know that you don’t need to speak.
Instead smile, relax your shoulders, and get comfortable.  Just doing this will take the pressure off him, because he’ll feel that you’re okay being in his presence.  He’ll feel accepted, and that’s when he’ll feel safe enough to trust you and relax.  Gradually, you’ll find yourself sharing a true heart to heart.
Much of the pressure from first dates comes from testing to see if we can trust this person enough to start revealing who we are.  But it really works the opposite way.  The more you reveal about yourself and your true feelings, the more he’ll feel comfortable opening up about himself.  If you keep this in mind, you’ll find that your next first date will be much more enjoyable.  You will have learned something meaningful about another person.  Even if you decide it’s not a romantic fit after all, you’ll have also gained valuable practice in how to open yourself up to the right man.

How to Talk to Women Online

Some men like to say that women are complicated. And they’re right! Women are complicated. But then, men are complicated too. Men and women are vastly different, but we’re all governed by basic social rules and norms.

This article gives you guys out there a few quick tips on how to understand how women are different and master the social norms that make easy conversation possible. We’ve used data from real online daters to come up a with a few ways you can make sure that you’re online communications are strong.
Keep these things in mind and you’ll learn how to talk to women online:
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
So this might seem obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people become disrespectful while communicating online. As a man, you should always treat women with respect. That means, no rudeness, no insults, no inappropriately sexual comments. Communicating online can be hard. Some of the subtle nuances of your jokes or comments may be lost. So be careful, re-read what you’ve written, and get a feel for the woman and the conversation before getting more aggressive. You may think you’re being playful and she may think you’re a complete jerk.
Some Compliments are Better Than Others
Making compliments on an intellectual or emotional level, not strictly a physical level, can get you far online. A lot of guys lead with, “You’re beautiful,” or “You look amazing.” And ya, every girl likes to be complimented on her appearance, but chances are she’s heard this a lot and you’ll just look like every other guy messaging her.
Try mixing it up, and compliment her on something else. A woman is generally more flattered by compliments about her intelligence, her kindness, or the worth of her personality than she is by comments about her physical appearance.
If you do compliment her looks, make it unique. Data from real online daters showed that women responded to messages that called out specific things about their looks—eyes, hair, or glasses—instead of words like beautiful.
Keep Talking – There’s No Playing Hard to Get Online
Sometimes the biggest struggle with talking to a woman, especially when you’re nervous, is to avoid running out of things to talk about. If the conversation stalls it can be a killer. So have a few go-to questions you like to ask people or a few go-to topics you like to bring up. Even if they’re a bit generic or boring, it’s good to have something ready. That way, if there’s a pause in the conversation you’ll be ready.
If you’re waiting to message her back, keep in mind that a lot of women like it when guys play hard to get. It’s mysterious, it keeps them guessing, it can drive them crazy, but it’s also part of the fun. Playing hard-to-get is all well in good when you’re offline, but online? Well, it just doesn’t work. According to data Zoosk collected from over 3 million conversations, if someone doesn’t reply within 24 hours, there’s a 94% chance you’ll never talk again.
Ask Questions
All people like it when someone is interested in them and wants to learn more. If you feel at a loss of things to say around a woman, ask about her taste in music, movies, or books. Find out what she enjoys most, what her job is, or even what she wishes her job is. Even asking what the last movie she saw, even if she hated it, can lead to a good conversation and help you get to know her.
Don’t Try Too Hard
The majority of women don’t appreciate it when men come across as arrogant, or as if they’re trying too hard to impress. The kind of bantering that happens between guys isn’t the same as the kind of communication that occurs between a man and a woman. So take it easy, don’t tell her about all the amazing things you do, what car you drive, or how you just got a new phone. If she’s interested, those are things she’ll notice and appreciate on her own. If you want to brag a little, and highlight what makes you a great catch, tell a story about something cool you did that you think she’d enjoy too. That way it’s not just about you.
Being too aggressive right off the bat can backfire. Data shows that first messages from men that mention dinner, drinks, or lunch, get 35% less responses. Don’t ask someone out in your very first message.
Be Honest About Your Past and Your Present
Women really respect a guy who’s honest and upfront right away. In a different exploration, Zoosk looked at the profiles of 3,956 subscribers and found that men who had profiles that mentioned divorce, separate, or my ex got 52% more messages. Similarly, men who mentioned son, daughter, teenager, children, or single dad saw an increase of 7%.
Chances are, you’re better at talking to women than you think. You just need a little practice. And that’s one of the best things about online dating—there are a lot of opportunities to get to know a lot of people. So have fun, flirt, ask questions, and you’ll have a date in no time.

Tip for Your Online Dating Profile: Stay Positive!

Many of us have friends who are negative, who maybe even identify themselves as pessimists or take pride in the fact that they look at the world and are honest about the fact that it’s not always beautiful. We love these friends, their pessimism is part of their charm and a big part of who they are.

This article is not for them.
Those people should be negative on their online dating profile, because the person they meet will need to appreciate their pessimism as much as their friends do. For the rest of us, those of us who don’t identify ourselves that way, it’s a good idea to double-check our online dating profiles for negativity. Because you’d be surprised how often something you write can come across as negative, and how much it can hurt your ability to attract the type person you’re looking for.
Ready to do a negativity check? Here are two quick things to look out for:
Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want
Sometimes when you’re asked to describe what it is you’re looking for in another person, the first thing that comes to mind is what you’re not looking for. Especially if you’ve just gotten out of a relationship that didn’t work out. But by saying what you don’t want, you may be turning away people who you’d really be interested in.
Think about it: If you put “No drama please!” in your profile doesn’t it sound, well, a little dramatic? If you were looking for a relationship with no drama, would that be the person you’d message? Probably not. But you might message someone that said, “I’m a positive, laid-back person, looking for someone who’s the same.”
Luckily, this kind of negativity is easy to spot and easy to fix. Just take a look at your profile and identify any places you talk about the things you don’t want or don’t like in another person. Then reword it to focus on what you do want instead.
Dating can be hard, but don’t talk about it in your profile
We know. Online dating, and all dating, can be rough and it gets frustrating. It’s tempting to put something about it in your profile, but focusing on how hard it’s been can give the wrong impression.
Steer away from mentioning that you don’t like online dating, that you haven’t had any luck before, or that you’re sick of playing games. Others may feel the same way but it’s not the best first impression. Instead, talk about the things you’re looking forward to and what you hope to get out of the experience.
Dating and life isn’t all sunny perfect days and fluffy white clouds. It’s OK to feel discouraged sometimes or feel frustrated when things don’t work out. There’s a time when opening up about your past relationships with someone is a way to get closer and learn about each other. The first impression you make in your profile isn’t that time.
So do a quick check, make sure you’re representing yourself in a positive light, and you just may be surprised by how a positive profile can help you meet a positive person.

How to Grab a Woman’s Attention

If you want to succeed with women, you need to learn how to stand out from the crowd and grab a woman’s attention. And no, it’s not about fancy clothes or pick-up lines. It’s about learning a few key skills that will make a lasting impression. Here are four tips you can use immediately:

1. Re-Tool Your Body Language
When you’re approaching a woman, remember that your body language is more important than the words you use. Most guys use apologetic body language and voice tones…they look as if they’re pleading with a woman to give them approval. So think about how you’d act if you were the “selector” – if you wanted to find out if she’s exceptional enough that you’d want to get to know her better, instead of YOU being concerned about whether or not she’s going to like YOU. Big shift, isn’t it? Remember this on your next approach and you’ll have a lot more success.
2. Know What You’ll Say Ahead Of Time
Sit down and think carefully about common situations where you see women you’d like to meet. Come up with 10 different ways you could start a conversation in these situations, pick your favorite, and mentally rehearse it. Most of the guys I know who are great with women use the simplest of simple conversation starters.  “Hi.” “What are you drinking?” “Hey, are you from around here?” I realize that these sound simple, and they are. They don’t come across as canned “pick-up lines”, and they help you figure out very quickly if the woman you’re talking to is friendly.
3. Get Numbers Smoothly
It might surprise you, but if the conversation is going well, a woman will often give you her number within a minute or two of meeting her. The secret is to ask correctly when you’re leaving. Ask her if she has email, then when she says yes, tell her “Great, I’m leaving, but I’d like to chat with you again. Here, write it down. And write your number there, too.” You’ll find that many of the women you ask will just give you their email and number that easily. The more you do it, the easier it gets.
4. Grabbing Attention Online
The number one mistake men make online is writing normal, boring stuff and asking normal, boring questions. Do not, under ANY circumstances, talk about NORMAL stuff. This will give you an advantage over 90% of the other men looking for women online. Trust me.
Most guys don’t take the time to work on themselves. If you really want to grab a woman’s attention – and KEEP it – then be one of the few men who take the time to develop themselves into the kind of guy WORTHY of an amazing woman’s attention. Invest in yourself – get an education on how to attract women naturally – and that’ll do more than anything else to put you on the path to success with women you want.

9 Women Reveal the Worst Things Guys Have Done On First Dates

It’s safe to assume they didn’t get a second

There are plenty of ways to ace the first date: You feel the chemistry immediately. You both love the food at dinner. She compliments your jacket. You make her laugh. Better yet, she makes you laugh. You end the night with a kiss if you’re lucky—and a second date if you’re really lucky.
But one third of Americans don’t enjoy going on first dates, according a recent EliteSingles survey. Of the two thirds of people who do enjoy it, more than 80 percent don’t know what to talk about and about 1 in 5 feel super nervous beforehand. That’s because there are so many ways a first date can just go horribly, horribly wrong: You show up late. The conversation gets awkward. Your card gets declined. You go in for the kiss and she shakes your hand instead.
Or, you could suffer through one of the following scenarios.
WORST FIRST DATE IDEA #1: PLAY VIDEO GAMES
“He took me back to his apartment after dinner... to watch him play FIFA. He genuinely thought he was a godsend at FIFA. I texted my friend to have her call me with an ‘S.O.S. You have to come quick!’ scenario. I feel like this is a general consensus amongst most women: Your ‘talent’ at video games does not make us want to become intimate with you. It probably just reminds us of our brothers.” —Brielle, 22
WORST FIRST DATE IDEA #2: OUTWARDLY DISRESPECT WOMEN
“A Rihanna song comes on and my date said: ‘Getting beaten up by Chris Brown was the best thing to ever happen to her career.’ Mind you, I oversee a domestic violence shelter.” —Heather, 27
WORST FIRST DATE IDEA #3: PRESSURE HER TO DRINK
“I got coffee with a dude who kept insisting we go back to one of our houses and get me inebriated somehow. Not him, just me—either weed or alcohol, and he wasn’t even subtle about it. He kept asking every 10 minutes if I wanted to go back to my/his place and ‘try some vodka gummy bears or smoke a bowl,’ but he made it very clear that he didn’t plan on getting intoxicated.” —Jenna, 23
WORST FIRST DATE IDEA #4: INVITE YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND
“First off, he didn’t tell me it was a date. I legitimately thought we were just hanging out and playing Scrabble because he asked me to via Twitter. Then he invited his ex-girlfriend to hang out with us, which I later found out was his way of showing her he had moved on. I felt used.” —Dylan, 23
WORST FIRST DATE IDEA #5: INVITE YOUR FRIENDS
“We were supposed to go to a movie on a Friday night. He said his friends kind of wanted to go and asked if any of mine would want to join. It was already Friday night so my friends had plans. He asked if I still wanted to go, so I said sure. I figured he meant just the two of us and he would leave his two other guy friends at home. I figured wrong, and me and him sat in between the two of them for the duration of the movie. It was the worst. Never went out again.” —Maddie, 23
WORST FIRST DATE IDEA #6: LEAD WITH A SUPERFICIAL QUESTION
“One time I went on a blind date and the first thing the guy said to me was ‘Is that your real hair color?’ I had been dyeing my hair a dark red for a few months and he actually mentioned something about it… like how do you respond to that?” —Alexis, 22
Try asking her these questions instead.
WORST FIRST DATE IDEA #7: FORGET YOUR MANNERS
“The worst thing a guy has done on a first date is blow his nose at the dinner table. 1) How rude! 2) Now my burrito is ruined because of your snot.” —Lauren, 23
WORST FIRST DATE IDEA #8: PICK THE MOVIE WITHOUT ASKING HER
“After dinner, he took me back to his apartment and queued up ‘Machine Gun Preacher’ on Netflix—kind of a jarring movie for a first date.” —Jessica, 24
WORST FIRST DATE IDEA #9: KILL THE CONVERSATION
“I once met up with a guy from OkCupid for coffee, and rather than engage in the usual getting-to-know-you chit-chat, he avoided eye contact and kept commenting on people at other tables with snarky remarks about their appearance or topics of conversation. Hearing how judgmental he was within 10 minutes of meeting him was a major turn-off, and I was happy to get out of there when my mug was empty. I’ve been on lots of Internet dates and usually enjoy the conversation, even if I’m not attracted to the guy, but this was the first time I counted down the minutes until it was over.” —Leah, 27