How to Attract Someone: Five Scientifically Proven Ways

As it turns out, seduction may be more of a science than an art. Wondering how to attract someone special? Here are five scientifically proven ways.

Humor
Humor is an attractive quality for both men and women, though for different reasons. Recent research shows that women appreciate men who can make jokes, and men prefer women who laugh at their jokes. Why is humor so sexy? A study published in Evolutionary Psychology suggests that a sense of humor is a signal for higher intelligence, which, in a strictly biological sense, is a favorable trait for a partner.
Being Liked
Have you ever had a relationship that you thought was completely platonic, only to discover the other person liked you? How did it make you feel? Science says you probably found the other person more attractive if you learned he or she liked you, even if you even if you ultimately decided against a romance. Psychologist Richard Wiseman discovered that one of the best ways to impress a date was to give the impression that “you were hard to get–and therefore a scarce resource worth having–but really enthusiastic about him or her specifically.”
Sharing Personal Info
What you talk about has a huge impact on potential partners. For example, in one study, 18 percent of people who talked about travel wanted to meet up again, compared with only 9 percent of those who discussed movies. This is because men and women tend to have different tastes in movies, which often leads to arguments. In comparison, a family vacation or friend’s destination wedding elicits happy memories (or at least funny stories) that have a better chance of leading to a bonding moment.
In fact, sharing personal, emotional information can create a deep connection on the very first date. In a one study, people who shared intimate details created a stronger bond within the first 45 minutes of meeting than some people experience with their closest, life-long friends.
Doing Fun Stuff
Nix dinner and a movie and shoot for an activity that gets your blood pumping. Research shows that people associate the adrenaline rush and exciting feelings with the person they’re with, so if you bring your partner on an exhilarating hike or a rock concert, he or she is more likely to experience feelings of romantic attachment.
Love at First Sight
According to Dr. Earl Naumann, if you believe in love at first sight, you have about a 60 percent chance of experiencing it. And of those who do experience it, 55 percent marry that partner, and three-quarters of them stay together. So open up your mind to the possibility of love at first sight.

Why Do Girls Like Bad Boys? Secrets from the Science of Attraction

From James Dean to James Bond to George Clooney (pre-Amal), girls have always had a soft spot for bad boys. And now science knows why. Recent research has found that men who have vain and somewhat er, well, psychopathic tendencies usually get more dates than the average male. Wondering what’s up with that? Well, here’s why.

They’re more attractive.
It’s not your imagination—bad boys really are ridiculously good looking. Research has found that people with so-called ‘dark’ personality traits such as narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism—otherwise known as the ‘dark triad’ of personality traits—are more physically attractive than others. The study by Nicholas Holtzman and Michael Strube of Washington University in St. Louis found that narcissists, unsurprisingly, are better at making themselves look physically appealing. Which explains why it’s definitely not a coincidence that bad boys have both an amazing wardrobe and amazing hair—they work hard at it.
Additionally, those within the dark triad were found to be, “more likeable and had more confident body language, and more attractive facial expressions,” than their counterparts. In short, a bad boy make a darn good first impression. This works well in his favor because, according to the research, when we find someone super hot, we tend to assume they’re also smart, kind, and confident (even if it isn’t true). No wonder bad boys are so irresistible.
They’re more fun.
From motorcycles to daredevil trips, bad boys know how to have a good time. A 2016 study conducted at the Hospital Clinic of Barcelona showed that a number of women were attracted to bad boy types because they were considered captivating. “While they are selfish, rule-breaking, imprudent, and rebellious, they are also brave, temerarious, independent, and self-reliant—and they live frantic, galvanizing lives,” said lead researcher Fernando Gutiérrez. He added that this behavior could function as “a signal that the subject has such good genetic quality and condition as to live dangerously without suffering harm.” The study went on to say those traits included in the dark triad, such as neuroticism and impulsiveness, “are not being weeded out by natural selection and actually may confer an evolutionary advantage.” Therefore ‘nice’ guys with their reliably structured existence just can’t compete with their wild bad boy counterparts who apparently have nine lives to boot—it’s evolution’s fault.
It’s hormonal.
If you find yourself ogling the bad boy at the bar, you can blame your ovaries for that. According to research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology back in 2012, women, in the week of ovulation, “delude themselves into thinking that the sexy bad boys will become devoted partners and better dads,” said study researcher Kristina Durante of The University of Texas at San Antonio. “When looking at the sexy cad through ovulation goggles, Mr. Wrong looked exactly like Mr. Right.” That means, during a certain time of the month, women can’t help but be attracted to the bad boy. (Just another thing to blame your baby box for.)
As much as bad boys are downright hypnotizing, it’s important to note that their charming ways quickly wear out. Although bad boys find it relatively easy to begin new relationships, research says that, over time, they find it difficult to maintain their mesmerizing first impression. In fact, they’re noted to be selfish, cold, and arrogant—pretty much the opposite of who you thought they were. (Just be careful because it could take several weeks before your bad boy exposes his true self. That’s because people with dark personality traits are skilled at keeping their unpleasant side hidden.)
Bottom line: bad boys are great for a fling, and it’s only natural to be attracted to them. (It’s science.) But if you’re looking for a long-term relationship go for the nice guy.

The 14 Dating Statistics All Singles Need to Know

When it comes to dating and relationships there are a lot of grey areas—as there should be. Maybe that’s why it’s so fun to look at dating statistics and data to see the black and white facts presented by the numbers. Whether you’re curious about the best city  to start a relationship in or want to know what men really think about paying for the first date, check out these 14 important dating statistics for some much-needed insight.

1. Shared interests and sex are important to a successful marriage.
According to a 2017 study on marriage by the PEW Research Center, 64% of married couples say having shared interests is important to a successful relationship and 61% said satisfying sexual relationship is. It makes sense then, that in a survey of over 6,000 online daters on the dating site Zoosk, the majority of them said the thing they like to talk about in their first conversation with someone is their hobbies and interests. Another fun find—56% of married adults say sharing household chores is very important to a successful marriage.
2. Guys care more about who pays the bill than women.
In a recent survey of over 6,000 heterosexual singles on the dating site and app Zoosk, 86% of men said they preferred to pay the bill, while only 56% of women said they prefered the man to pay. On top of that, only 25% of men said they like it when a woman offers to pay. 
3. It’s actually harder start a relationship in a big city.
According to 2014 Facebook data gathered from relationship-related posts and status changes, big cities like New York, LA, and Miami aren’t the best place to meet people. The cities that you’re most likely to start a relationship in? Colorado Springs, El Paso, Louisville, and Fort Worth.
4. Love goes beyond politics.
Though current times may suggest otherwise, the same PEW study on marriage also showed that only 16% of married people said they thought shared political views were important to their marriage. So even if you and your significant other don’t see eye to eye on economic reform or foreign policy, you can still be a good pair for each other in a relationship.
5. More people are choosing to stay single longer, or indefinitely.
And as a result the gap between married and single people has narrowed. Back in the 1950s married couples outnumbered singles by 37.1 million, but after the last census in 2015 that number shrunk to 12.1 million.
6. The best time to get married is between the ages of 28 and 32.
According to a study by Nick Wolfinger, a sociologist at the University of Utah people who get married between 28 and 32 split up the least. As the study put it, this “Goldilocks Theory of Marriage” shows that getting married too early or too late can be risky.
7. Most people think online dating is a good way to meet people.
In a 2015 study by PEW, 59% of people in the U.S. agreed that online dating was a good way to meet people. And that number was on the rise, since in 2005 only 44% of people surveyed said they thought online dating was a good way to meet.
8. If you date someone for 3 months, it’s likely you’ll start a serious relationship.
Another fun find from Facebook—couples who make it to 3 months usually end up together for at least 4 years. So the three month mark is an important milestone.
9. If you’ve been dating for over 6 months, it might be time to discuss marriage.
A survey from the dating app Zoosk showed that 56% of men and 54% of women want to discuss marriage after they’ve been dating for 6 months.
10. Technology can bring couples closer.
According to a 2014 PEW research study, 21% of mobile phone owners, said they feel closer to their spouse or partner because of conversations they had via text. 9% admitted that they had resolved an argument over text message that they couldn’t resolve in person. In addition to that 27% of internet users say their internet usage has had an impact on their relationship and 74% said it was a positive one.
11. More people are getting remarried.
According to the U.S. census 40% of new marriages involve remarriage, where one or both of the spouses have been married before. In addition, in 2013 42 million adults in the U.S. had been married more than once which was up from 22 million in 1980. 
12. Men and women both want someone who’s honest.
After data mining over 3,000,000 profiles, the dating app Zoosk found that both men and women use the word honest the most while describing what they’re looking for in another person. Other popular traits varied by age and included things like fun, sense of humor, family, or easy going.
13. Same sex couples don’t care about age as much.
According to Facebook data, in heterosexual couples, males are consistently 2–5 years older than females, while same-sex couples generally have larger gaps within the spouses ages.
14. Coffee or dinner dates are the best way to go.
According to messaging data from the online dating site Zoosk, women in their 20s and 30s use the word dinner most often when describing their ideal date. Womens in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and older list coffee most often.

4 Surprising Ways to Break the Ice

During those first few dates, you’re likely to find yourself with a man who is more nervous – and tongue tied – than you are.  Here are five different ways to break the ice, open his heart, and start the spark of romance.

First dates are our chance to create an initial connection with a man, and see if we are a good fit. We trot out our best stories and questions to make a great first impression, and we avoid uncomfortable silence at all costs.
But these strategies aren’t real ways to start a connection with a man. In fact, they feel more like an interview than a romantic experience.  If you really want to get the conversation flowing, focus instead on connecting to his heart by being vulnerable and authentic.  Here’s how.
TIP  #1: ASK HIM ABOUT A PERSONAL DETAIL
Rather than asking him about his job or where he lives, ask him about a personal detail that opens the door to unusual conversation. It’s a great way to find out more about him and let him know you’re interested.
So say something about his class ring or the shoes he’s wearing.  Chances are, there’s a story there; and he’ll welcome the opportunity to share it. It will feel more spontaneous and refreshing, because it isn’t the same old conversation starter.
TIP #2: ASK HIM TO ASK YOU
A good way to communicate your openness and find out what’s on his mind is to ask him: “Is there anything you’d like to know about me?”
Doing this gives you great insight into his personality.  You’re letting him lead the conversation so he feels you’re open to him, and you’re also learning about what matters to him.  He’ll probably turn it around and ask you to do the same, and this will keep you chatting away. The fact that you’re open to revealing stuff about yourself will also give him the impression that you’re spontaneous and comfortable in your own skin, and this is very attractive.
TIP  #3: ADMIT YOU’RE NERVOUS
It’s normal to think that we have to seem upbeat and at ease on a first date, so we try to cover up our nerves and discomfort. But this just creates an artificial experience between the two of you, and causes you to miss a real opportunity for connection.
One of the quickest ways to put him at ease – and instantly connect with his heart – is to confess what you’re really feeling.  So if you feel nervous, tell him! You can say something like: “You know, I’m feeling really nervous here.  I felt we had a great connection online, and now I’m not sure what to say,”
There’s a good chance he’ll venture that he’s having the same problem, and then you’ll have something in common!  What’s more, the fact that you expressed your true feelings will let him see that he doesn’t have to be a mind reader with you…and it will touch his heart.
TIP  #4: GET COMFORTABLE WITH SILENCE
This tip is the hardest to get used to, but the most powerful.
When people are nervous, they tend to create small talk.  Small talk will help pass the time, but it won’t help you make a heart connection with him, because you’re just sharing facts rather than engaging with him on a more personal level.  So let go of the need to carry the conversation, and challenge yourself to sit with the silence.   Know that you don’t need to speak.
Instead smile, relax your shoulders, and get comfortable.  Just doing this will take the pressure off him, because he’ll feel that you’re okay being in his presence.  He’ll feel accepted, and that’s when he’ll feel safe enough to trust you and relax.  Gradually, you’ll find yourself sharing a true heart to heart.
Much of the pressure from first dates comes from testing to see if we can trust this person enough to start revealing who we are.  But it really works the opposite way.  The more you reveal about yourself and your true feelings, the more he’ll feel comfortable opening up about himself.  If you keep this in mind, you’ll find that your next first date will be much more enjoyable.  You will have learned something meaningful about another person.  Even if you decide it’s not a romantic fit after all, you’ll have also gained valuable practice in how to open yourself up to the right man.

How to Talk to Women Online

Some men like to say that women are complicated. And they’re right! Women are complicated. But then, men are complicated too. Men and women are vastly different, but we’re all governed by basic social rules and norms.

This article gives you guys out there a few quick tips on how to understand how women are different and master the social norms that make easy conversation possible. We’ve used data from real online daters to come up a with a few ways you can make sure that you’re online communications are strong.
Keep these things in mind and you’ll learn how to talk to women online:
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
So this might seem obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people become disrespectful while communicating online. As a man, you should always treat women with respect. That means, no rudeness, no insults, no inappropriately sexual comments. Communicating online can be hard. Some of the subtle nuances of your jokes or comments may be lost. So be careful, re-read what you’ve written, and get a feel for the woman and the conversation before getting more aggressive. You may think you’re being playful and she may think you’re a complete jerk.
Some Compliments are Better Than Others
Making compliments on an intellectual or emotional level, not strictly a physical level, can get you far online. A lot of guys lead with, “You’re beautiful,” or “You look amazing.” And ya, every girl likes to be complimented on her appearance, but chances are she’s heard this a lot and you’ll just look like every other guy messaging her.
Try mixing it up, and compliment her on something else. A woman is generally more flattered by compliments about her intelligence, her kindness, or the worth of her personality than she is by comments about her physical appearance.
If you do compliment her looks, make it unique. Data from real online daters showed that women responded to messages that called out specific things about their looks—eyes, hair, or glasses—instead of words like beautiful.
Keep Talking – There’s No Playing Hard to Get Online
Sometimes the biggest struggle with talking to a woman, especially when you’re nervous, is to avoid running out of things to talk about. If the conversation stalls it can be a killer. So have a few go-to questions you like to ask people or a few go-to topics you like to bring up. Even if they’re a bit generic or boring, it’s good to have something ready. That way, if there’s a pause in the conversation you’ll be ready.
If you’re waiting to message her back, keep in mind that a lot of women like it when guys play hard to get. It’s mysterious, it keeps them guessing, it can drive them crazy, but it’s also part of the fun. Playing hard-to-get is all well in good when you’re offline, but online? Well, it just doesn’t work. According to data Zoosk collected from over 3 million conversations, if someone doesn’t reply within 24 hours, there’s a 94% chance you’ll never talk again.
Ask Questions
All people like it when someone is interested in them and wants to learn more. If you feel at a loss of things to say around a woman, ask about her taste in music, movies, or books. Find out what she enjoys most, what her job is, or even what she wishes her job is. Even asking what the last movie she saw, even if she hated it, can lead to a good conversation and help you get to know her.
Don’t Try Too Hard
The majority of women don’t appreciate it when men come across as arrogant, or as if they’re trying too hard to impress. The kind of bantering that happens between guys isn’t the same as the kind of communication that occurs between a man and a woman. So take it easy, don’t tell her about all the amazing things you do, what car you drive, or how you just got a new phone. If she’s interested, those are things she’ll notice and appreciate on her own. If you want to brag a little, and highlight what makes you a great catch, tell a story about something cool you did that you think she’d enjoy too. That way it’s not just about you.
Being too aggressive right off the bat can backfire. Data shows that first messages from men that mention dinner, drinks, or lunch, get 35% less responses. Don’t ask someone out in your very first message.
Be Honest About Your Past and Your Present
Women really respect a guy who’s honest and upfront right away. In a different exploration, Zoosk looked at the profiles of 3,956 subscribers and found that men who had profiles that mentioned divorce, separate, or my ex got 52% more messages. Similarly, men who mentioned son, daughter, teenager, children, or single dad saw an increase of 7%.
Chances are, you’re better at talking to women than you think. You just need a little practice. And that’s one of the best things about online dating—there are a lot of opportunities to get to know a lot of people. So have fun, flirt, ask questions, and you’ll have a date in no time.

Tip for Your Online Dating Profile: Stay Positive!

Many of us have friends who are negative, who maybe even identify themselves as pessimists or take pride in the fact that they look at the world and are honest about the fact that it’s not always beautiful. We love these friends, their pessimism is part of their charm and a big part of who they are.

This article is not for them.
Those people should be negative on their online dating profile, because the person they meet will need to appreciate their pessimism as much as their friends do. For the rest of us, those of us who don’t identify ourselves that way, it’s a good idea to double-check our online dating profiles for negativity. Because you’d be surprised how often something you write can come across as negative, and how much it can hurt your ability to attract the type person you’re looking for.
Ready to do a negativity check? Here are two quick things to look out for:
Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want
Sometimes when you’re asked to describe what it is you’re looking for in another person, the first thing that comes to mind is what you’re not looking for. Especially if you’ve just gotten out of a relationship that didn’t work out. But by saying what you don’t want, you may be turning away people who you’d really be interested in.
Think about it: If you put “No drama please!” in your profile doesn’t it sound, well, a little dramatic? If you were looking for a relationship with no drama, would that be the person you’d message? Probably not. But you might message someone that said, “I’m a positive, laid-back person, looking for someone who’s the same.”
Luckily, this kind of negativity is easy to spot and easy to fix. Just take a look at your profile and identify any places you talk about the things you don’t want or don’t like in another person. Then reword it to focus on what you do want instead.
Dating can be hard, but don’t talk about it in your profile
We know. Online dating, and all dating, can be rough and it gets frustrating. It’s tempting to put something about it in your profile, but focusing on how hard it’s been can give the wrong impression.
Steer away from mentioning that you don’t like online dating, that you haven’t had any luck before, or that you’re sick of playing games. Others may feel the same way but it’s not the best first impression. Instead, talk about the things you’re looking forward to and what you hope to get out of the experience.
Dating and life isn’t all sunny perfect days and fluffy white clouds. It’s OK to feel discouraged sometimes or feel frustrated when things don’t work out. There’s a time when opening up about your past relationships with someone is a way to get closer and learn about each other. The first impression you make in your profile isn’t that time.
So do a quick check, make sure you’re representing yourself in a positive light, and you just may be surprised by how a positive profile can help you meet a positive person.

How to Grab a Woman’s Attention

If you want to succeed with women, you need to learn how to stand out from the crowd and grab a woman’s attention. And no, it’s not about fancy clothes or pick-up lines. It’s about learning a few key skills that will make a lasting impression. Here are four tips you can use immediately:

1. Re-Tool Your Body Language
When you’re approaching a woman, remember that your body language is more important than the words you use. Most guys use apologetic body language and voice tones…they look as if they’re pleading with a woman to give them approval. So think about how you’d act if you were the “selector” – if you wanted to find out if she’s exceptional enough that you’d want to get to know her better, instead of YOU being concerned about whether or not she’s going to like YOU. Big shift, isn’t it? Remember this on your next approach and you’ll have a lot more success.
2. Know What You’ll Say Ahead Of Time
Sit down and think carefully about common situations where you see women you’d like to meet. Come up with 10 different ways you could start a conversation in these situations, pick your favorite, and mentally rehearse it. Most of the guys I know who are great with women use the simplest of simple conversation starters.  “Hi.” “What are you drinking?” “Hey, are you from around here?” I realize that these sound simple, and they are. They don’t come across as canned “pick-up lines”, and they help you figure out very quickly if the woman you’re talking to is friendly.
3. Get Numbers Smoothly
It might surprise you, but if the conversation is going well, a woman will often give you her number within a minute or two of meeting her. The secret is to ask correctly when you’re leaving. Ask her if she has email, then when she says yes, tell her “Great, I’m leaving, but I’d like to chat with you again. Here, write it down. And write your number there, too.” You’ll find that many of the women you ask will just give you their email and number that easily. The more you do it, the easier it gets.
4. Grabbing Attention Online
The number one mistake men make online is writing normal, boring stuff and asking normal, boring questions. Do not, under ANY circumstances, talk about NORMAL stuff. This will give you an advantage over 90% of the other men looking for women online. Trust me.
Most guys don’t take the time to work on themselves. If you really want to grab a woman’s attention – and KEEP it – then be one of the few men who take the time to develop themselves into the kind of guy WORTHY of an amazing woman’s attention. Invest in yourself – get an education on how to attract women naturally – and that’ll do more than anything else to put you on the path to success with women you want.